UCSB Bites September 22, 2005

Political Bites

EDITOR'S NOTE: Last year the "UCSB Bites" column took a lot of heat from our readers – mostly juvenile and profane responses.  however, One thoughtful, but misguided, reader finally explained to us why she was so offended by the column (other than banjo's poor writing skills and loopy commentary).   It wasn't the content that offended the young woman,  but rather, she thought that the name was an insult to UCSB.  Apparently,  the UCSB administration is not the only group with thin skin.  Just for clarification, the name was taken from the term "sound bites" - as in the political context.  Feel free to be offended if you like, but that is not the purpose of the name of this column.  we are certain that you can find a better reason to be offended by THE banal ramblings of banjo reams than the mere title of his column. 

Fall is in the air.  Can the IVFP Fall Offensive and student Fall Defensive be far away?  It will be interesting to see what manner of nonsense both sides come up with this year.  Note to UCSB students:  Please report all instances of police abuse to me personally.  I am particularly interested in cases wherein the IVFP forces you to drink at gun point and then has the temerity to arrest you when you act stupid or assault someone.  This type of police entrapment must be stopped!

Halloween is only a little over a month away.  Personal note to Chancellor Yang:  Can I walk around IV with you on Halloween?  I promise to cluck my tongue in unison with all the other minions in your the entourage.  

UCSB Judgmental Bites

News flash:  UCSB censured by the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission for claims of sex discrimination by a professor who charged that the university denied her tenure after she took time off to have two children.  UCSB doesn't like kids?  My advice to UCSB is to do the right thing: stop all the lawyer and public relations "blah, blah, blah," and make sure that the tenure is retroactive – reconcile with the professor and stop discriminating against women who have children.  

Gridlock anyone?  According to a News Press article about UCSB's expansion program, "An environmental report on the housing plans says that without major upgrades, traffic snarls will increase on key shopping and commuter streets that already suffer rush-hour jams, such as Hollister, Storke and Los Carneros roads, and the university's western gateway at El Colegio Road."   Where are all the UCSB environmentalists who love to holler about developers who ruin our quality of life?  Has anyone given any thought to the "no project" option or shall we just sit here and enjoy our hypocrite tea? 

Here is a really wacky idea:  Instead of spending hundreds of millions on new projects and not upgrading local roads, how about spending some money to fix what's wrong with IV?  

Respectfully submitted,

Banjo Reams