UCSB Bites April  2006 

Political Bites

Last month's peace weekend was marred by the usual number of arrests for assault, drunkenness and mayhem in IV.  World peace my be easier to achieve than civility in IV. 

UCSB Non-Judgmental Bite

UCSB invites witch-doctors to share "medical" insights.  I have a remedy that I  would like to share.  It is guaranteed to get the Chancellor in gear.  You take sandpaper, turpentine, and jalapeno peppers.  The rest of the procedure gets a little graphic, and I do not want the secret out into the community because I would not be able to tell people that I know what they need and that I have the "secret sauce."   Can anyone tell me if any of the UCSB Nobel guys are Shaman?  

Next month, UCSB will host the makers of Cortislim and Captain Hook's Medicine Band.  The will discuss do-it-yourself brain surgery. 

UCSB Judgmental Bites

MTV, Real World, and UCSB.  What is wrong with this picture.  Perhaps nothing, that is the problem.  Is there any chance that UCSB won't be embarrassed by having a student in this show?  

Respectfully submitted,

Banjo Reams

Editor's Note:  We are not going to sanction Banjo yet; however, his comments about the chancellor well be investigated.  If we fine substantial evidence that he does not actually have a cure for the Chancellor, he (Banjo, not the Chancellor) will be punished severely   – the academic senate will be notified!